Taught by Chris & Kerri Sue Adams, 2/14/2009

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Chris & Kerri Sue Adams

Intro: Greetings from all the disciples in the Syracuse International Christian Church!!

READ 2 Chronicles 7:1-3, and 2 Chronicles 7:12-16
- We are among the most blessed peoples of the world, that God has kept his promise that his eyes and heart would always be in his temple.
- In 1 Corinthians 3:16 Paul writes: “Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit lives in you?” Truly there is nothing greater in this world than having God’s eyes and heart, having a dynamic relationship with Him.
- If we remain in this vibrant relationship with God, than our marriages will be outstanding; but, if we rebel or drift in our relationships with God, then our marriages will be in jeopardy and be susceptible to the same things that destroy more than half of the marriages in the world.

I believe the Essential Question today for all of us married disciples is this:
Will we be consumed by the fire of God’s glorious purpose for our marriages and lives or will we be burned by the flames of this world?

I. Fan the Flames of the Spirit
READ 2 Timothy 1:6-7
- What are the flames of God’s Spirit? Power, love, self-discipline! The perfect ingredients for a marriage that will always please our God!
- In Exodus 3:1-10 God appeared to Moses through an angel and actually spoke to him out of the flames of that bush that didn’t burn up! God had heard the cries of his people and He said I am going to save them—therefore GO, I am sending YOU!
- Hebrews 12:18-24 The awful power of God’s holy mountain was fulfilled by the fires of joyful singing by a people made righteous forever by Jesus Christ.

II. Investigate the Smoke
1. Deal with the Parasites
[Fireproof Movie: Boat/Internet Battle scene]
- The Love Dare book: parasites are addictions and any addiction not overcome will kill your marriage!
- EXAMPLE: What if you saw a wisp of smoke coming out of an electrical outlet in your child’s room?
- EXAMPLE: Volvo – drove it Day 1 of my new job
[Kerri-Sue]
- Negative Thoughts (Psalm 10)

[Chris]
- Internet Porn: Trench Foot . . . bacteria actually eats away your flesh from the inside/out.
- “I can’t compete with that!” Humiliates our wives.
- Romans 8:13 “for if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live, because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God.”
- Building the purity in your marriage doesn’t come by default, but it comes by actively confessing sin and rooting out the sinful thoughts, which are the misdeeds of the body!
- SHARE a brother abstained from marital relations with his wife for 3 months to take responsibility for the emotional trauma he put her through and to re-build the trust.
- The best defense is an offense: DECIDE to romance your wife.
- I know one of the greatest blessings of our marriage is the purity that God has given us and it’s NOT because of me but by God’s Spirit in me!

2. Deal with the Greed
[Kerri-Sue]
- Fearful about finances
[Chris]
- [Movie: separate finances—red flag!! The goal is always to think together, not alike. 2 brothers repenting radically in Syracuse:
- “My home is just a home again.” (before it was his dream)
- “I was seduced by the American dream and didn’t realize after 10 years of being a disciple how lukewarm I had become.”
- Someone has to be Phineas in the marriage to drive a spear through the financial debt and it SHOULD BE THE HUSBAND!
- Dave Ramsey radio program: the wife looked at their income-to-debt ratio and the amount of money they were paying for interest monthly and said THIS IS CRAZY! $78,000 in 32 months . . . without the spirit of God!

3. Deal with Worldly Communication
[Kerri-Sue]
- The Tongue – James 3
[Chris]
- Anger – James 1:19-20 “Quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to become angry”
- This is my greatest weakness. It doesn’t LOOK LIKE the movie where he backs his wife into a corner and his raging words are causing her to fear for her safety. But my anger shows up by silence and pulling back.
- But my anger HAS THE SAME EFFECT AS HIS IN THE MOVIE since it can cause Kerri-Sue the same bitterness and destroy that precious trust God has given us in our relationship. And the most disgusting effect is that it totally undermines the confidence of one of GOD’S daughters!

III. Run Away from the Flame-thrower (Satan)
READ Ephesians 6:10-18
- How are we to strengthen ourselves in his mighty power? Realize that Satan is FAR stronger than you are by just your own power! The battle is not against one another or any other person (read in-laws) but against the spiritual forces of evil!
- In order to douse the flaming arrows of the evil one, we need

The love-dare book IS simply a plan of repentance! We all need one in our marriages!
Step 1 – decide you will commit to a plan of repentance because your marriage and your God deserve your best!
- Where there’s smoke, there’s fire!
- Smoke can ruin your house MORE than actual FIRE! Same with our marriages.
Step 2 – call 911! Call God first, and then call the brothers and sisters.
- God has always listened to our cries of distress, when we’ve had the sincere hearts to repent. Pull people into your life.
Step 3 – Lead by personal repentance. There’s no such thing as the marriage repenting.
Step 4 – Celebrate every single iota of victory! Remind each other of God’s grace.

[Chris]
EXAMPLE: Building a ‘Smores-fire up north. Stones for boundaries. Communicate together on what will help the other person do their best for God. Asking one another for help in repenting (not abdicating responsibility or dumping it on the other person) can be very powerful!
James 4:7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

IV. Extinguish the Flames of the World
Only God would set it up so that the way to extinguish the flames of the world is to set it on spiritual fire for God!
[Kerri-Sue]
- Competitiveness comes from not having your purpose on straight!
[Chris]

READ Acts 6:1-8, 12-15
- Phillip had 4 daughters . . . quite possible that all of these men were married with children . . . including Stephen!
- READ Acts 7:51-60
- We think we can figure a better way in the 21st century than dying to ourselves and preaching the Word of God boldly to the point of people hating us!
- Do we think it will take us anything less than dying for Jesus to evangelize the world today? I believe God is calling each of us and calling we married’s to lead the charge, to have the deep convictions not just to save our own children and our own families but the whole world!
- Stephen had the face of an angel . . . because he was ON FIRE FOR GOD! He preached to his very last breath! Let us go and extinguish the flames of this world that are burning up the marriages and ultimately burning up the souls of would-be children of God!

Women’s 22-Day Love Challenge
Day 1 List your husband’s strengths & compliment him today. Philippians 4:4-8
Day 2 Don’t allow yourself to say anything negative. Proverbs 14:1
Day 3 Greet your husband with a kiss of love whenever you re-unite! 1Peter 5:14
Day 4 Make special time to captivate your husband. Proverbs 5:18-20
Day 5 Listen to your husband, and then pray to draw out his feelings. Proverbs 20:5
Day 6 Cook his favorite meal and serve it restaurant style at home. Esther 5:4
Day 7 Do the nagging chore that neither of you has wanted to do. John 13:1-17
Day 8 Sacrifice to pay for something that he really wants. Mark 14:8-9
Day 9 Personally renew the promises you made at your wedding. Psalm 15:1-5
Day 10 Fast to see your husband as God does. Luke 2:37
Day 11 Show mercy and compassion with your words and hugs. James 2:13
Day 12 Ask your husband for help with one of your weaknesses. 2Peter 1:5-11
Day 13 Tell your husband something he doesn’t know about you. 2Cor 6:13
Day 14 Show your husband respect by following joyfully. Ephesians 5:33
Day 15 Handwrite a love note to your husband. Ruth 3:7-11
Day 16 Ask: “Is there anything that I have done to hurt you?” Romans 12:18
Day 17 Describe your expectations of an upcoming event. Romans 1:11-15
Day 18 Write down one thing that your husband could do to super encourage you! Psalm 10:17
Day 19 Put an encouraging note in his bible about what he’s working on changing! 1 Cor 15:49
Day 20 Give your husband an unprompted, unmerited 5 minute massage. Romans 5:6-8
Day 21 Meet your husband out—somewhere he’d never expect to see you. 2 Timothy 1:16-18
Day 22 Light some candles and read together in its entirety: Song of Songs

Men’s 22-Day Love Challenge
Day 1 Put an encouraging note in her bible about what she’s working on changing! 1 Cor 15:49
Day 2 Give your wife an unprompted, unmerited 5 minute massage. Romans 5:6-8
Day 3 Meet your wife out—somewhere she’d never expect to see you. 2 Timothy 1:16-18
Day 4 Give your wife a coupon to do 1 thing you know would super encourage her! Psalm 10:17
Day 5 Describe your expectations of an upcoming family event. Romans 1:11-15
Day 6 Ask: “Is there anything that I have done to hurt you?” Romans 12:18
Day 7 Handwrite a love note to your wife. Proverbs 31:10-31
Day 8 Show your wife love by asking if you could just “take a night” to just talk. Eph 5:33
Day 9 Tell your wife something she doesn’t know about you. 2 Corinthians 6:13
Day 10 Ask your wife for help with one of your weaknesses. 2 Peter 1:5-11
Day 11 Tell your wife with gentle words what a gift from God she is to you. James 2:13
Day 12 Fast to see your wife as God does. Luke 2:37
Day 13 Personally renew the promises you made at your wedding. Psalm 15
Day 14 Sacrifice to pay for something that she really wants. Mark 14:8-9
Day 15 Do the nagging chore that neither of you has wanted to do. John 13:1-17
Day 16 Somehow serve your wife’s favorite meal “restaurant-style” at your home. Esther 5:4
Day 17 Listen to your wife, and then pray to draw out her feelings. Proverbs 20:5
Day 18 Make special time to romance your wife. Proverbs 5:18-20
Day 19 Greet your wife with a kiss of love whenever you re-unite! 1Peter 5:14
Day 20 Don’t allow yourself to say anything negative. Proverbs 14:1
Day 21 List your wife’s strengths & compliment her today. Philippians 4:4-8
Day 22 Light some candles and read together in its entirety: Song of Songs

Categories: Marriage, Sermons
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