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Yap Sheep 10: Star Chosen Preview - Show Notes

This show features a wacky audio preview and interviews about the sci-fi novel “Star Chosen,” about Christians in space in the far off future. Not many podcasts also have a five year old son (Luke) interviewing their father (Joe), but Yap Sheep delivers once again in the laughing slice of life department. The first two “Star Chosen” chapters are read in this episode with more than a few silly daddy and science fiction surprises. The text of these chapters is below.

Cast: Joe, Luke, Maria and Anna Chiappetta

What is Yap Sheep?
Yap Sheep is the most un-pretentious Christian talk show under heaven. It’s lighthearted, lively, laughable entertainment for the whole family, rated “G” for general audiences. And you might even learn something while listening to these short mp3 audio files. Yap Sheep pulls its cast from members, friends and family of the Chicago International Christian Church. If you’ve never listened to a podcast series before, this is a fun and faithful place to start. Find a flock of people (pun intended) looking to live life to the full, and broadcast it to you! From cultural reviews to interviews and world views, the Yap Sheep podcast has good news for everyone.

Star Chosen

(preview of the first two chapters)
By Joe Chiappetta

Chapter 1
The Fiery Circle

A spacecraft lands in the middle of a corn field in Illinois. Three military officers, one female and two male, come out of the craft. The female is carrying a pyramid shaped device about the size of a large pumpkin. “Where do you want me to put it down?” she asks.

The shorter of the two males pulls out a gun, adjusts the settings, and fires it in a spiral pattern on the ground. The dense corn stalks in that area incinerate to form a fiery circle, leaving a small open area of smoldering dirt. “Right there,” he replies, pointing to the center.

The three officers enter the circle and the woman places the pyramid device on the ground at the center of the circle and comments, “Let me go on the record here and state that even though I designed this device, I still am not convinced that using it is the best course of action. I cannot stress enough how dangerous it can be if this thing malfunctions. It’s so powerful, we can’t even test it. I had to use unstable particles to make this work. So we either have to use it now or loose it.”

The taller male responds without hesitation, “My apologies to you both in advance if this ends up destroying the universe and us along with it. But this is war. Now turn it on.”

Chapter 2
Wipeout

Andre Rider, an author of unorthodox spy novels, sits typing by the window in his high-rise condo. The wall adjacent to the window has a number of writer’s awards and also a hologram displaying the promotional images from some of Andre’s most widely distributed stories. “The Cry of Chachi” poster holographically fades into “Chachi Returns,” then “Chachi in Love,” and so on, in a continuous loop of self-promotional wall decoration.

Andre’s condo unit, currently overlooking the Chicago River, is set at “shuffle,” which makes the whole living unit physically rotate, albeit slowly, upwards and then downwards, along with a trail of other condo units, somewhat like a square Ferris wheel. For those who can afford this living luxury, it’s promoted as a room with an ever-changing view, ideal for creative types and those with attention deficit disorder.

Andre’s wife Alice calls to him from the hallway, “Andre, dinner is almost ready. This afternoon I met some of them “Chosen” folks today. I accidentally dropped my 3D camera down a sewer and one of those Chosen fellows comes up to me and says, ‘I’m Shamus. This is my wife Sarah. You go on and chat with my darling while I go down and fish that gizmo out for you, young lady. I don’t believe in luck, but if I did I would tell you that you are in luck this afternoon because I am a fisherman of sorts.’ Can you believe that Andre, the fisherman called me ‘young lady?’ This couple is about the same age as us, maybe mid-forties. So then Shamus pops open the old sewer grid and jumps down into the sewer. Without gloves, he reaches around in the muck for a while and finds my camera. Now all the while his wife is talking to me about some sort of book club or something. She wasn’t even watching her husband splashing around in the underbely of Chicago. I think she was trying to invite me to attend her book club. But the funny thing about this book club is that they only talk about one book: something called the GoFile. She even beamed me a copy over to my computer and said I had to read it and then study it with her for some sort of life changing experience. Those people were so nice, honey. A little odd but, maybe I should read it some time. Andre, are you even listening? Anyways, dinner is ready.”

“Okay babe, I’ll be right there,” said Andre, “but just give me one more minute. As soon as I end this last sentence, my novel will be totally finished.”

“You didn’t even hear my story,” replied Alice. “But I’ll cut you some slack because it’s not every day that my husband finishes his next great masterpiece. But it’s about time. Haven’t you been working on that thing for three years?”

Just as Andre finished saying, “four, actually,” an unexpected sparkle of light crackled its way through the entire building. The sparks lingered for a few moments, and then faded out.

“What was that? Did you see that?” whispered Alice. “It’s outside too. Wait, why am I whispering?”

“Because this is freaky,” mumbled Andre, “it was… everywhere.”

“Hey,” Alice added, “your hologram stopped working. And where’s the novel you were finishing on screen?”

Andre’s eyes glared at his computer monitor with extreme concern. Now deeply focused, he tapped away at his keyboard, but with undesirable results. “It’s gone. No! Computer, retrieve most recent novel file. Computer, acknowledge. Computer?”

The computer gave no response at first, but then made a most dreadful sound. The generic factory default start-up jingle played, followed by the familiar default introduction: “Hello, I’m your new computer. Give me a name, followed by a few commands of your choice, and let MycroMak, the universal leader in software, do the rest because we do it best.”

Andre didn’t name his computer when he first got it, and he certainly wasn’t about to name it now. Consistent with the surveys, the majority of happily married men tended not to name their computers, while most single and unhappily married men almost always named their computers. The most popular name for a computer owned by a male was Darla. As for women and their computer naming habits, they all tended to name their computers, regardless of their marital status.

Andre frantically typed away at the keys to do a manual search, this time for any novel files, and then for any text files. “No. This can’t be happening! This doesn’t happen anymore. Alice, everything I’ve ever written since… well, since I was a kid, and every book I’ve ever collected, they’re all gone! Our whole library, and my life’s work… it’s all gone. Computer, open novel file ‘Chachi’s Revenge.’”

“I’m sorry,” said the computer, “but that file does not exist. As your new computer, don’t you want to give me a name? MycroMak computers are fully customizable for all your…”

“No. No! Computer, your name is Computer,” shouted Andre. “Now search backups and sub-backups. Search remote locations as well. Search other computers and the internet. Display all novel files, book files, and any other text files written by Andre Rider.”

“No Andre Rider novel files, book files, or any other text files are found,” said the computer.

Andre’s mind was racing. “How could this be?” he thought. “Why would anyone wipe out only my work and my collection, and how is that even possible?”

Alice responded, “Maybe it wasn’t just your work. Maybe everybody’s work is wiped out.”

Andre followed up with another command: “Computer, search for any narrative files written by anyone, anywhere in any media, on any hardware.”

The computer replied, after a few moments of bleeping: “I’m sorry: none found.”

Andre slumped deeper in his chair while Alice pondered, “Can you have a book club without any books? I guess I won’t be reading that GoFile after all.”

Categories: Yap Sheep